Life and married life have a way of dripping one day… month….. year into another. What happens without at least a little expectations management can often turn out like the finger-paint picture we did as children. The pictures were fabulous with lovely lines and brilliant colors going round and round and all over the place. They were masterpieces. [Read more…]
Some of us do a lot of things for our spouses. They ask us or they want us to do these things for many reasons. We do them because we care or feel obligated or both. There is however so many things our partners want us to do with them together and not just for them.
Same old same old. Same crap different day. As a couples therapist I have witnessed couples who are stuck in a highly developed Status Quo with the dials set on very unhappy. You can think of it as your Relationship Status Quo (RSQ). Your RSQ can be favorable or unfavorable. I have been married 29 years and believe me our relationship was stuck in a mutually non rewarding RSQ. [Read more…]
Can I go to the gym? May I please take that art class? Can I play poker tonight? Girls are getting together can I go? Good marriage is considerate marriage. Considerate marriage is not obedience based. It is not the military…..Permission to leave the room Honey!
Some of you might be thinking it’s thoughtful to ask permission. Let’s not confuse consideration and thoughtfulness with permission and obedience. They are very different approaches. [Read more…]