You just want your marriage to work. Your disagreeing, fighting and withdrawing from each other. You still want your marriage to work out already because your worn out and getting tired of trying. What you two need is a Good Faith Intervention.
Good faith really can go a long way. Good faith is a restart button. It requires that you both put your lists and agendas aside for a bit and focus on growing some good faith in your marriage by following through on 1-2 good faith efforts. When the smoke clears all we really have is our good faith.
Zev what are you talking about? I’ve tried to show good faith so many times, it’s him/her that hasn’t or won’t. I hear this a lot. It’s natural to want to be the one that’s right which makes the other wrong. Well being right a happy marriage between two people with unmet needs and concerns doesn’t make.
So as we move through the dog days of summer, I challenge you both to establish a good faith pact in preparation for post labor day challenges we all experience. This is between the two of you. Carve out a little space and let your spouse know one thing that they could do for you which would translate into a good faith effort. Let them know how much you would appreciate it and then as the commercial we all know says…. just do it!
Remember this is something separate from the way you have been acting to each other. Make some elbow room between all the anger, resentment, apathy and withdrawal and follow through on a good faith effort. Call me once a day …Rub my forehead when we go to sleep or are sitting watching the tube…….Help me with the kids……help me clean……give me a little time to myself so I can get something done. Something doable… something you both can accomplish for each other. Something that feels and translates to good faith.
Go ahead you two push the restart button. It’s the one marked “Good Faith” on the dial.
If you need some help please check out two resources: