Are you savvy in Marriage Politics? Marriage isn’t political you say. Posturing, maneuvering, lobbying and manipulating are just some of the features we employ knowingly or not throughout our marriages. Politics isn’t bad …it just is. And it most certainly finds its way into most marriages.
When partners understand the politics of their marriage it can relieve much tension from spouses who really want to communicate their needs to their spouses. You don’t have to always agree on the basic tenets of what you feel, it’s just healthy for your message to be heard. Then marriage can really be a two way productive enterprise rather than a stagnant competitive and argumentative grind.
Marital politics should not be aimed at getting back at your spouse but are sometimes used to manipulate a spouse. When that’s the case a person has to be called to the carpet on the use of negative tactics and intentions. Yes that does take mustering some courage and fine tuning your messaging savvy.
When employed appropriately within the context of a caring collaborative relationship, political tactics and approaches can be employed effectively to get a point noticed or to outline an agenda for a happier closer marriage.
How you ask…… well through a flexible non rigid give and take policy and in the context of love and friendship. The message could be feelings which express fundamental relationship issues to the more mundane home decorating choices such as……..I like our relationship better this way….I feel safer with you under these conscious conditions……….I like blue for the kitchen…………I want the lights on when we’re having sex. Using mutually beneficial political tactics can mean I feel better that you understand my needs and let’s try to use approaches that draw us together rather than push us away and apart..
So get with your spouse. Do a little verbal surveying to see how the politics works in your relationship.Define the politics of your marriage for each other and you‘ll experience a more informed and conscious relationship.
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