What’s the one thing we know about fire? It can spread from a small spark to a huge event. So encouraging you to re-light the fire in your marriage by taking some small steps and get your mind off the end game. In marriages with little romance couples try to much or focus on the “big event” rather than a little hugging, caressing, massaging, and/or kissing. And yes, when spouses are unhappy/angry/disagreeable it’s really hard to think about kissing and hugging……
OK, if it’s too difficult to make a physical gesture, one of touch then make eye contact and give your spouse some attention. Look, our brains are always on the lookout for a threat and behavior that produces anxiety (complaining,yelling,scolding) instead of soothing (attention ,encouragement) pushes us away from one another.
What messages are you sending to your spouse by your behavior? If it threatens, then it needs to be corrected into a message that conveys we are looking out for each other. The world is a more secure place for me when I know you are with me even when we are separated by daily routines or distance. So think about a small step you can make towards your spouse instead of away from them.
I invite you to call or email me if you want some help in improving your marriage. It doesn’t matter where you live you can join a supportive group or schedule a First Move session to get the ball rolling in your marriage.
301 332-0711 firstname.lastname@example.org (Get Marriage Help Today)